Last night was a very heartwarming night for me. My friend, Ammar Roslizar announced that he's getting married this 16 December 2012. Congratz bro. May Allah makes everything at ease for you. =)
And as usual, amongst the question was "brape hantaran kau mar?".
Many of us did not know what is the purpose of hantaran in the first place. Many of groom-to-be thought that the whole RM 8k, RM 10k, RM15k or any other "many zeros" figures will be enjoyed purely by the bride. Hence cause their rants on expensive hantaran. "Parents perempuan nk jual anak", "Igt aku anak menteri ke nk bg RM15000 kt anak kau" blablabla.
But according to my dad, who (alhamdulillah) has 2 married daughters to this date, dowry is not for the bride to enjoy. It is actually a budget, prepared by the groom to support the expenses for kenduri on the bride's side.
Today, the trend for wedding is it wud be prepared by a group of professional caterer to serve all those delicious foods. I'd prefer gotong royong/rewang as it wud save lots of quids compared to catering but in this modern world, that budaya seems vanished away. It's very lucky for those of you who still have that kind of neighbourhood, you are not going to burn your pocket to ash.
So to make it global n general, let us assume catering is a norm.
Let us do a simple maths here,
For a modest walimah, roughly the guests wud be around 500-600.
Catering = RM 10 per head (we are talking bout nasi minyak, with 3-4 lauk, kuih muih, air, upah pekerja catering, upah tukang masak, sewa buffet set etc. And this is not the cost for city like KL, which is even more expensive)
Gazebo + tables n chairs = RM 1000?
Pelamin+make up+sewa baju = RM1200 - RM1500?
Baju nikah = RM 200-300
Inivitation card = RM 500
Kompang + bunga manggar + bunga telur/cake as the doorgifts = RM 600-700?
Total : almost RM11k (estimated)
I knw it's very hard to admit but these are the facts. Cost of living today is far way more expensive than before. Blame the inflation (blame ourselves for not having any effort to fight inflation).
So, for grooms, unless you can change the tradition, you better start to save a quid each day. =)
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